Three Things...yeah I stole it, what!?!?!?

I know this isn't the first one you read, but oh well...


THREE THINGS I AM WEARING RIGHT NOW
1. Two extended length black tees
2. Black jeans
3. ...and my illustrious black and gray bapes...

THREE THINGS ON MY DRESSER
1. My keys
2. Eclipse Mints
3. Pocket change

THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE
1. Go to Japan
2. Have my own island
3. Have a great wife and kids...

THREE GOOD WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY
1. Witty
2. Humorous
3. Thoughtful

THREE BAD THINGS ABOUT MY PERSONALITY
1. Sarcastic
2. Analytical
3. Harsh

THREE PARTS OF MY HERITAGE
1. African-American
2. 1/8th Irish
3. I'm Yellow!!!
THREE THINGS I LIKE ABOUT MY BODY
1. Hair
2. Face
3. Eyes
THREE THINGS I DON'T LIKE ABOUT MY BODY
1. Butt...(I'm a man...it isn't suppose to be this big...)
2. Chin...it's too small
3. Eyebrows...but I don't wax them...

THREE THINGS MOST PEOPLE DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME
1. That I talk differently to certian people that I think can't understand my vocabulary or wouldn't appreciate it...
2. I don't go out of my way to talk to women
3. I'm shy

THREE THINGS I SAY THE MOST
1. "...for real?
2. "Are you Serious?!?!?!"
3. "You. Are. Retarded."

THREE PLACES I WANT TO GO
1. Paris
2. London
3. Tokyo

THREE NAMES THAT I GO BY (other than normal name)
1. Chris
2. C.J. (Family and super-close inner circle family friends call me that.)
3. Christopher James (only one young lady calls me that.

THREE SCREEN NAMES I HAVE HAD
1. FoSho2405
2. CapnPimp2213
3. blazesandstorm

The Look...

I'm not quite sure what it is, how I got it, or how or where it was developed...but I have this look...

No, I'm not America's Next Top Model, and it isn't even about aesthetics...It's just the way I look at women. I mean, I don't demean them at all, but when I'm interested, I have a way of looking at them: I just don't understand it. I just figured out this weekend that I have this "power". I mean, it's actually kinda hilarious. I just look into their eyes...and if I'm into their eyes, I kind of let there eyes wrap themselves around my essence until they trust me, and they start to feel warm inside. How do I know that they get all warm inside you ask??? They start to tug at their shirts like they aren't quite sure of what type of material it was made from, or like they are trying to rub something off their fingertips gently...It's the oddest thing to see. It reminds me of when James Bond talks to Moneypenny or something...

Now, if there is female that is reading this that I know personally...I doubt if I ever gave you all the look...and more than likely, you will NEVER see it, (unless you just so happen to see when when I shoot it at another woman...).

I mean, I know pretty much who reads this site...but anyway, don't ask me to do it. I can't really do it on demand...it's just something that happens...like photosynthesis.

Weird, huh?

I'm not too sure of anything...

Really now, do you expect any different anymore???

I think women are a distraction.

No...women ARE a distraction. I mean, they are fantastic and all, but now it is just getting ridiculous. Every single time I go ANYWHERE with ANYONE, there are at least 2.8 women that I know out, and they just miss me so much...yeah right...I really don't get it...it must be the whole "summer love" thing...


Aside from that, everything else is cool. Work is fine, my benefits are cool...I think I'm going to get the lasik surgery in a month or so...I just bought some new sneakers, a watch, some shirts, a jacket, and a cell phone...It's a throwback Nextel, but I got it for a steal!

Man, I'm not sure what else to say...I'm becoming more of a brother to one of my childhood friends, Richard. He's a good guy, he just needs some one to talk to...his father treats him kinda bogus...asked him if he wanted some condoms for prom...why would you ask your son that??? I mean, even if he NEEDED them, you think that he wants to talk to his father about that sort of thing? I mean, that's cool if you have that type of relationship with your dad, but he doesn't. That doesn't add up to me, but maybe it isn't suppose to...

This is Goofy...

I mean, I said last time I was swearing off the wife search, but why now three women from my immediate past pop up, and the girl I met at the restaurant down the street from my house wants to go out this Saturday...a girl I worked with at CLC wants to go out Sunday after church...I don't get it. I'm starting to really believe that women are just a big distraction...I mean, me and Lanese are cool, Kristen and I are pretty good friends...I'm cool, I guess. I don't know. This is just the wackiest thing, dealing with women. I mean, I LOVE WOMEN, but I don't like not knowing how to react sometimes. I know I may come off as this super brilliant guy to most of the women I talk to, sometimes I just don't know how to explain the emotions that make me feel like a dufus. Whatever...

Diary of a Mad Milk Man...

You have noticed that as of late, I haven't been blogging lately. I mean, it is more than the fact that I have been busy...and it is even more than the fact that I no longer work at the College of Last Chance...I just haven't wanted to. I mean, I am a pretty open person, and I am willing to share myself with people, but I haven't felt the need to. I have been feeling a great mixture of emotions as of late, and I don't quite understand what they all mean. I have pretty much given up on the Wife Search for now...even if I find or have found her, I probably couldn't handle her right now, and even if I could handle her in my life, I'm not sure if I know how to handle a woman in my life anymore. Then trying to figure out if a girl/woman really actually appreciates you the same way you appreciate her without getting your feelings hurt is a greatly unnecessary hassle...I don't quite know anymore. The more life I live, the more I come to understand that I really don't know anything. Most of my knowledge is relative, and even with that, I am questioning my own sense of "absolute truths". I'm not questioning God, and I am not questioning my own sexuality or anything like that, but still...Things that I thought that I knew how to decipher are coming back with confusing results. I need a vacation. From life. Like a sort of way to pause my own existence, and learn new things...relax, and then unpause exactly where I left...not losing any time. My poetry is flowing pretty well....I am seeming to grow spiritually...my bond with my male friends is growing exponentially...I should be happy, right?













Then Why Aren't I Happy???

Educational Technology Specialist

Now, what do you think this post is about? Yes, it is about my job at the College of Lake County. No, it is not my position, but the position of my "supervisor". He is soooo good at his job that he shows up whenever he wants to...he fantasies about underage girls, and he also plays favoritism when it is convenient. He is the worst person, as far as skill is concerned, at his position. He is lazy, completely inefficient, and a wuss...

Now, why am I bad mouthing this guy like this? Simply because he chose to dodge responsibility for his actions, and it just so happens that one of my friend's is the dean of this campus. He ignores responsibility of his actions, and of his lab assistants. Now, today he chose to b***h me out about it, and I wasn't feeling it...so I told him about himself. Now, am I worried that I will get fired for it? Possibly. But not before I take him down with me...

Retarded People

Most of you all know by now that I work part-time at a community college here in Waukegan. I have complained on numerous occasions about people acting all retarded in my labs...this is the kicker though....

Today, a Black co-worker of mine who is in the lab on his off-time is complaining to me about the printer. He is saying how I should be doing my job, and I should be in the room at all times so he can print. Now, normally speaking, this is all well and fine, but he doesn't really know what my job is here. See, I get paid more than he does. A considerable amount more. So, with that, I have more responsibility...There is always more than one lab open, and there is always one lab assistant for each lab. Being the fact that I get paid more, I have to do more stuff...all he has to do when he is here is monitor the lab that he is sitting in...that's it. Meanwhile, I have to monitor the lab, open and set up multiple classes, and troubleshoot for the classes in session. I have a walkie-talkie. Not him. He thinks that I have it SO easy...whatever. Then I tell him what the problem is, and he gets all whacked out on me, complaining that I am wrong, and he is right. First off, I've been here longer than him...Second, I have taken two years worth of CompSci classes...of the Engineering sort...I think he might be a general studies major...Third, this has happened before, this current printer problem, and now it is doubled with a whole new problem...so it isn't as easy as clearing a paper jam...Forth, if every time you print, the paper jams, wouldn't you think it was much more than an alignment problem? I guess not...maybe I am the retarded one...

I doubt it.

The Hottest Milk Man Ever?

Yeah, I know I did a post about the #1 Milk Man...this is still along the same line as that:


Me and my new driver, Jim, were joking around about the whole best milk man ever thing...and then he tells me that I'm the hottest milk man ever...

No, it's not some sort of homo-thing, it's just that these women keep flirting with me, and their advances are not ones that I wish to entertain. Now I know that beauty is only skin deep, and don't judge a book by its cover, but still...I mean, one lady is like, 48 years old, and she smokes weed...plus she has a son older than me. Aside from all that, she isn't really my type. You have to be at least somewhat attractive to me.

Yet and still, even though I have never given these women any sort of idea that I am interested in them, they continue to call me "baby" and "sweetheart" all the time. It's even at the point now where they are giving us free coffee and free soft drinks to us every time we go. My driver is trying to get me to flirt more often so we can get free sandwiches, but I don't think I want to entice these ladies at all.

Then, yesterday I went to lunch with my friend Richard, and I met a girl at the restaurant. It was the funniest thing. I was looking at the menu, trying to decide what to order, and she is just staring at me. I thought I had something in my nose...then she blurts out, "...So, is it nice outside?" I'm like, "...uuUhh, not really. I mean, its not warm enough to leave my coat off..." And then from there we had a little small talk. I didn't think too much of it, then she sat at the table next to us...eating on "her break"...so, I'm just like, whatever...then she starts asking me questions during the breaks between me and Richard's conversation. It was so obvious that she wanted to talk to me, but Richard was trying to "talk" to her. Eventually I talked to her about church, and she sounded interested in going, so I gave her the address to my church...and then she gave me her phone number...she said she was going on a 8 day cruise, and when she got back, she'd go to church with me...

I don't quite know how to take that...

Understanding...

Yes, I know by now y'all are tired of me going all deep on you, but I can't help it:


Understanding. It is something often reached for, but never quite grasped. The problem with my generation is the "IKE" mentality. Meaning, I Know Everything...don't trip, I even fall into this category myself, that's why I find this epiphany so ironic. Once we come into "our own" as far as knowledge is concern, we tend to lend a deaf ear to those who have wisdom on situations that you are approaching. So instead of attaching yourself to that wise individual, and soaking up their tutelage, you slight them, and turn away. The worst part about it is that we treat God the same way...he cracks open the window of Revelation, and we now think we are omniscient...he gives us one-seventh of one percent of his understanding to stand on, and we think that we can see the future of the whole world...

I'll leave you with this: Consider yourself a coin, and consider God a hand. Place the coin in your hand. Now make a fist over that coin...when you feel like your troubles are surrounding you, and you can't breathe because everything is getting too close and too tight, that is just God making a fist around you so he can fight your battles for you. You are more than a conqueror...and God always holds you in his hand. Even when you walk away, he still has your back, and he still loves you.


I hope that helps someone because it has helped me.

Take care Y'all!

Really?

Yeah, so I'm really really about to bounce out of this piece and get me some sleep...I am soooooooooo tired...I'll be ok though. It's nothing I can't handle. After my nap I have chuuuch...then some more sleep, and then off to work. Hopefully I'll have something worthwhile to talk about tomorrow...

Grandparents...

No, I'm not a grandparent, nor am I a parent. Yet in still I wonder what is going on in the heads of mine...

I went over my grandpa's house yesterday, and it was an experience to behold. They act like they haven't seen me in twenty years, and try to make me feel guilty for not coming around. I mean, they NEVER come to my house, and we live about twelve minutes away from him...then he starts telling me that I'll never amount to anything if I don't go to college...how I should have stayed in "computers" and I'll never have my own house working "crappy" jobs...I bared through it, and I'll live, but it can be very annoying.

Yeah, And?!?!?!

For whatever reason, I have been getting really agitated with people lately...I don't think that they are doing anything worse than normal...it's just the my patience has been short as of late. Hopefully it's just the change in sleeping pattern, or maybe it is just the same as before...me not being comfortable...
Plus it doesn't help that I am REALLY tired right now...I keep falling asleep...I'll be okay though, I just need some rest.
I think.
I can see daylight in my finances...I think I may be able to come into my own soon...but then what? I'm not sure...

Hey People!

What's going on Blog People! I haven't really been myself lately. I don't understand why I've been acting so weird...it's like, stuff hasn't been lining up like it should in my mind. I mean, everything else is fine. Work is cool, church is cool, my fam is fine...and my friends are cool...I don't get it...yo no se'...yeah, but I think I'm meeting Kristen again today for coffee or something...no romantic intentions, just trying to cultivate a friendship...yeah, I know...you don't believe me...whatever. I'm just kinda hype right now for some reason...I think it's the caffeine...Well, I gotta get back to Harold and Kumar go to White Castle...

Hitch...

Yeah, I just watched Hitch...at the movie theater...

It was really good. The only thing that bothered me is I drew way too many parallels to myself...It was unnerving. I mean, if you have seen the movie, the way he talks to his clients is the way I think...and then I started to wonder if I really believe the stuff I say to myself. I mean, I know I have a couple scars here and there, but am I trying to mend them with female affection? I'm not sure. True enough, I did go see this movie with Schantelle...but that was it, we just watched a movie...all it is is a movie...right? I guess.

Well...I hope my mind clears up by tonight...

Best. Milk Man. Ever.

...not saying that I am, but I did hear about an interesting fellow that use to work at the dairy...


There was this guy, and he was all juiced up on steroids, and he would always proclaim the "fact" that he was the "Best Milk Man Ever!" I thought it was a joke...but it wasn't. Any time he had some sort of difficulty with some of his co-workers, he would always go back to his favorite saying, "You're just jealous because I'm the best milk man ever!!!" Quite a unique individual. Eventually the guys wanted him to quit, because he was really annoying and a very large pain, so they would pour a mini bottle of Drakkar into his seat every night until he refused to drive his truck anymore, then due to insubordination, he was fired...

...so remember:

If you are the "Best Milk Man Ever" make sure you like Drakkar...

I'm not sure...

I've been feeling a little odd lately...


I guess I'm okay, but I'm not feeling it. I mean, I got a nice card from Lanese, Schantelle left me a nice message on V'day, and I went to lunch with Kristen yesterday...The last had no romantic intention, but it was nice just the same. I am making twice as much as I did at DG...I'm making moves so I can move out...and my car is doing fine...I am even getting benefits next month...

So what's wrong???

I'm not sure...


What more do I want? I'm getting good, clean attention...I talk to someone who stimulates my mind...so what is the problem???

My poetry is even flowing...

I'm not sure what else I need.

Hopefully I'll be fine...

Mind Flow...

Well, work is work, so with that I am satisfied for now. As far as anything else, I'm not too sure. I mean, I am happy...well, content with what I'm doing right now; but I still don't feel right. I am making a feeble attempt at dating, and it is going fine...but I think due to circumstances played out by both parties, we got too into each other way too fast. Gotta cool your jets...don't want to burn out or run out of gas...but yeah...

My bank account is getting healthy again, losing that anorexic look...


I just posted like, seven or so poems on my poetry page yesterday. It was fulfilling. More so than what I thought it would be. I need to release that side of me more often...at church on my B-Day I freestyled a poem...it wasn't all that great to me, but to the audience, well, some cried. They were moved. I mean, right after I did that, they did alter call because the spirit was so high...kinda showed me that what I think is good doesn't always matter.

...On the other hand, me and my guy John have been making some HEAT in the lab. I mean, I'm a harsh critic, and these tracks we made are hot for real for real...I'm not saying that we are the new Neptunes...but hey...

I spoke with a friend that I haven't talked to in a long time, and they told me some things about myself that I never thought they noticed. I mean, a lot of stuff, in detail...all good stuff, but I just didn't think they cared enough to notice. It was kind of refreshing.

Other than that, nothing is really going on...

I'm your Pusha...

Well, the milk job is runnin' fine, I just need to schedule in some nap time!!! I'll post more tomorrow, I'm at John's house making some tracks in the lab, but I'll comment more on my life tomorrow...Did I tell y'all that I get free orange juice and eggs and stuff from work? What an odd perk, right?

Hide and Seek

...this movie is tripped out. For anyone that has seen it, I don't think the ending is as predictable as some people say...but it was good. More of a suspense thriller...I thought i would have some kind of deep connection to it, and break down stuff in it, but if i did, it would ruin the movie...so if you want to know what i think about something, just ask me a question about it if you have seen it...but I would recommend it if you like intellectual movies...

Isn't it Ironic?

Well, I'm "sad" to say that I have pretty much called it quits at the good old DG...(Dollar General). The thing is though, I would have never got the job with Muller-Pinehurst if it wasn't for me talking to the guy who delivered the milk to the store. You have to admit that the situation of me finding a new job at my current job is rather humorous. Anyway, not much else is on the horizon...I turn 22 on Friday...nothing planned. More than likely I'll just go hang out with some friends after work. I watched White Noise last week, and that was horrible. "Worst. Movie. Ever." I mean, cinematically speaking, it was ok, but other than that, it was horribly bad...

I already got my first birthday card...it was from Lanese...I was kinda tickled when I saw it...it made me blush...which isn't hard to do, I am kinda high-yellow.

Things really feel like they are coming together...now only if I can get this whole "healing" thing down, I'd be all set...