I know I haven't shared myself in a while...but I'm gonna try to do it now.
It's hard to give somebody all of yourself when you aren't too sure of everything that's there.
Now, let me help define that statement:
I'm not crazy, I know who I am, but sometimes there are things that surface that I didn't realize where there, or didn't choose to address until now. Kinda like being ok with a messy house until you find out that company is 15 minutes away.
It's tough. It's tough for two reasons. Reason number one? If it was that easy to deal with or even recognize, it would've been fixed already...that flows right into number two...because I haven't had to really be open with anyone in a while, I didn't realize all that residue was on the window of my personality. I never had anyone that cared enough to tell me. I mean, I've always had my parents, and they are quick to point out when I'm being an ass, but we all know that parental relationships and romantic relationships have a completely different dynamic in play.
I've come to realize, and even while I'm typing I'm realizing even more...none of the chicks in my past really cared. Some may have thought they did, but in the real world, all they cared about was their own wants and needs...their own feelings and desires. It's to the point that I'm SO GOOD at saying what bothers me, I don't always choose the most appropriate way to relay my emotions. Not saying that I do it in a way to tear someone down, but in a way that makes the other person feel like panda poo. That's not what I want to do either...
To be honest, I don't know what to do; and I'm finally coming to grips with that. I don't know what to do in every relationship based situation. I'm really just learning now. I have examples to go on from my p's, but you can't really learn exactly how to react and how to be in a real relationship until you are in a real relationship with a person that REALLY cares about you...
That's all I have for now...
Be Safe or Be Smitten.
the bold type
5 years ago
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4 comments:
everything is a learning process. so, take these things as they come. at least you have the desire to change and that shows that you really do love the other person. even if you knew all about what to do in one relationship, it wouldn't necessarily apply to a new one. I think everyone's pretty understanding of that.
*hand clap*
it takes a lot of energy to really deal with those issues and it's great that you have someone for whom you want to go the extra mile..
good luck, brotha.
lol @ panda poo.. sorry that alliteration gets to me.
Anyways on a serious note, I agree with those above, you'll learn along the way so enjoy the experience. And that analogy of a messy house.. i totally get you there because it's true you only start to realise/panic over things when cerain situations arise even if the "problem" was there before.
Good luck with everything :)
Dude u must've really been hurt...and haven't got over it...you are in a good relationship now, right?
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