Cool on Food for Thought, but for You I'm a Starver...

So, I'm in love.



Yeah, love. The type of love that makes you feel like you aren't whole without them. The type of love that makes you wanna slap everyone that you have ever dated in the face...the type of love that makes you wanna laugh at every other chick that you told you loved them...it's not that I didn't, it's just different. So different in fact, that I truly feel this could be the one...for real. Like, trap you by getting pregnant-type of the one. Like the, 'I'm gonna relocate' the one. It's so beautiful and frustrating all in the same breath.

Well, for one, she lives in New Jersey. I live in Chicago. Her whole family is there. My whole family is here. All her friends are there. All my friends are here...you see the pattern. She was just here for a weekend, and she's coming back on the Fourth of July...just for me. Dude; this chick...is amazing. Every little thing that I thought was weird about me...she loves and identifies with it. IDENTIFIES WITH IT...do you understand how huge that is? We also have paralells in our beliefs, but then we contast one another with certain music and entertainment...although we both appreciate the other's taste...it's, stupid dope. I can't really even translate it into words...even though I've really tried...


On a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT NOTE:


I'm so proud of the Celtics! Go Boston...y'all bought some Negros to get the title back. Hooray for you...KG and Ray Allen needed a ring; two of the most underrated players in the game along with Paul Pierce...but what in HELL is on this cat's mind here???





This isn't the Tony Awards...it's the NBA Championship Trophy...damn dude...totally the wrong time to do your Shriley Temple impersonation...


Be Safe or Be Smitten!

Life in Movies

Not as serious as it sounds, but I was watching a clip of a movie, and so saw myself in the dead brother of Dewey Cox...Parental Discretion advised...




Then that brought me to my next clip; I'm so glad those anti drug commercials don't give this message...




Be Safe or Be Smitten!

Father's Day

Thanks Eb the Celeb for giving me the courage to drop this out there…


Father’s day has come and gone, and I tried my very best this year to let my Dad know that I really care about him, love him, and respect him. Now as charming as I am in person, and as eloquent as I am on this site…I can never find the right way to voice my true emotions to my father. I think it’s because I get nervous…really nervous. Now, it’s not because I’m scared, it’s not because I think he’ll say something to me that I don’t want to hear…it’s really because I know how my father is…

My father is a man that is big on principle. He respects words, but he respects actions more…he’s kinda old-school in that way, but honestly, if more people were like that, it’d be a better world…but because of this, I feel like the only true way for him to know how I feel is to show him; I just haven’t quite figured out the best way to do that yet. I try to live independently, I try to be the best man I can be…I use the tools of manhood that he gave me, instilled in me, and helped develop in me. It’s…it’s, it’s hard. It’s hard to tell someone that you really care about and honor how much they mean to you; especially when all they hear is about the hurts that they have caused…but that happens. People tend to overlook the good because the bad is so much more lucid in your memories. I remember all the times he tried to teach me how to play baseball effectively…even though I really didn’t like it. I remember when he would take me to an open field and fly kites with me…How many people have done that in my age group? And I NEVER see people doing that anymore…I remember playing catch with my dad, playing basketball with my dad, playing video games with my dad, working on cars with my dad, hearing him give me awesome gems of info like, “You’ll always save money by learning how to do something yourself, as long as you do it right.” I love him for that, I’d kill people for disrespecting that…

I Love My Father; and I really hope he knows this…I do. I know my life with him wasn’t all bad, it wasn’t all punishments and discipline, even though that’s all I tend to focus on. I know this; and me thanking him for who he was, who he is, and the growth that has taken place let me know that I can always learn, always change, and still be looked at with respect…because knowing that he has never stopped learning made me realize that I never will either; and being able to adapt and change is one of the biggest parts of being a man. Being able to realize when you are wrong is a huge part of being a man. Knowing that your family is as important, no, more important than yourself…sacrificing your comfort to make sure your wife and son are able to enjoy life just a little bit more…that’s what makes a man. Not the women slept with, not the money made, not how big or strong…not what you know or who you know…it’s about who you are, and what people will say about who you are. Being a man of principle does that. It lets people know who you are based on your actions and responses; it makes trust possible…because at the end of the day, you are the only one that has to atone for your sins…and that’s what my father made sure I understood as well…I am the one who has to pay for what I’ve done; but I also have to remember that everything I do is a reflection on my family as well…

It’s hard. It’s hard to balance all of these things and still be a fun, interesting, playful, insightful, and relaxed person…but my father has been and is all of these things. I know there are hundreds of thousands of things I can sit here and write…but the main thing I wanted to get across is that I love my dad, and I always will. With no clauses or exceptions.

As always,

Be Safe or Be Smitten.

Dazed and Confused

Have you ever been so sleepy you forgot what day it is? Or you didn't remember that you were at work? Yeah, that's how I feel right now...I haven't been this sleepy in a very, very long time. I really think I'm going to go straight home tonight and go to sleep...a deep coma like sleep, for like, 3 hours...then go put a load of whites in the wash. Ughhhh...the day can't creep by fast enough!


As for my weekend...The cool points out the window and you got him all twisted up in the game.


Thank you Liz for being my sunshine during Noah III: The Flood Returns!




I live in the Chicagoish area, and dude, it was something awful with the rain...this person's house literally floated away...it was bad news homie. Can you imagine seeing your house float away? I'd be so pissed...I wouldn't even know what to say...but is it wrong that I can't help but laugh at the video? It looks like a Monopoly house just sailing along...


BTW, my new employer loves me...they haven't had numbers this good in a VERY long time...or at least that's what they tell me...


Be Safe or Be Smitten...and make sure your house doesn't float away!

Week in Review...

What to say and what to share is the real question...


I've learned that people don't always operate in the same time that you'd like them to. When you are looking for something from someone, you don't always get it, and if you do, it isn't always in the time that it is needed. In that respect, even if they do give it, it's too late lots of times...and it's not that you don't care, but it's that you can't give those feelings back...Like in Anchorman when he saw what he wanted at the pool party...




You know, when he wanted Veronica Corningstone?

"I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back. I want to be on you...I don't know how to put this but I'm kind of a big deal. I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany."

Yeah, he was totally off in his timing...timing is everything.


Also, this up in news:



I'm going to have a spot at the Sneaker Show at Navy Pier during July 4th Weekend! Exciting, no? I'm going to stock up on petty shoes to sell at the event, hopefully people will have money this time...


Super Big News:






I had Progresso Vegetable soup today...it was very tasty.


That's about it; maybe I will purge later, but that's honestly everything on my mind right now...


Be Safe or Be Smitten!

Blogger Jackin'

I SO stole this from Monie in the Middle's blog...but here you go...I need more songs on my ipod...


MEME Rules:
1. Put Your iPod/ music player on shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT
After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do the meme themselves!

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
Complex Simplicity - Teedra Moses

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Moment of Clarity - Jay-Z

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Girls, Girls, Girls - Kanye West freestyle version...(look it up, it's interestingly right.)


HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Shooter - Robin Thicke feat. Lil' Wayne


WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Mr. Whomp Whomp - Fiend


WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Bring Y'all Back - Pete Rock feat. Little Brother


WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Keep It Playa - Pharrell feat. Slim Thug


WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
I Don't Trust Myself (With Loving You) - John Mayer


WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Killing Me Softly - The Fugees

WHAT IS 2+2?
Much More - Lupe Fiasco


WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
2 the Sky - Robin Thicke


WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Like I Love You - Justin Timberlake


WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Keys Open Doors - The Clipse

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Electric Wire Hustler Flower - Common


WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Slow Dance - John Legend


WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Let's Get This Paper - Rich Boy


WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Outta My Head - Teedra Moses


WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Let's Go - Pete Rock


WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
A Life In A Day of Benjamin - Andre' 3000


WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
The Prelude - Jay-Z (on Kingdom Come)


WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Prayer - The Clipse (unreleased demo)

WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
Shut Up - Trick Daddy



Honestly, it was kinda spooky...and it made me listen to some songs that I forgot were on here...I was afraid because I have some super bogus stuff on my Ipod...like the best of Fiend...and a bunch of Lupe Fiasco random mixtape songs...but it turned out ok.

Try it and see what you find!

Be Safe or Be Smitten!

Mind Melt

My job, for the lack of a better word, is interesting. I work in QM or Quality Management department...so I really don’t do much, just replace bad product. Today though, I’m learning the computer system that records the data in a federally regulated data system…it’s very tedious. Well…for one reason or another, there are just TOO MANY screens…I literally put small amounts of actual data into about 6 different screens…I felt like my mind was going to melt and drip out of my ear…it was bad. I think I’m going to be ok though, it’s just super hard to memorize all that stuff in like, an hour.


I still have a headache.

Otherwise, this weekend looks to be good. My fellow blogger is coming to the Chi and we are going to kick it…I hope. We were going to make plans to kick it, but I think her friend has other arrangements set up, so we’ll see…

Video of the Day

So, I know lately I haven’t been saying anything of substance…but I have been remembering all these stupid wack songs that I liked in the 80’s…and found out that some of them I still like…


I swear I’m gonna buy this group’s Greatest Hits CD….








THE HUMAN LEAGUE!


Don’t you want me baby!



You know you love it…


Be Safe or Be Smitten!

Nas Video

Be a N*&&@...

I have to honestly say this; I've never been a huge Nas fan...I appreciated his work, but never a huge fan. I always liked Biggie better than him...and in saying that, this next statement is going to be all the more powerful.


I am buying Nas' new album as SOON as it drops...I might buy two copies. Every black person in America, every minority in America needs to see this video...and if the two snippets and the main song are any inkling of what the CD is like...this might be the most important CD of our culture...now I know this is a huge statement, but watch the video and tell me you don' t feel the same way...even if you just wanted to say that the video alone makes the whole Hip Hop video game right now look horrible...it's worth the 8 minutes and 39 seconds it'll take to listen and watch...but it may take longer to absorb.

It won't allow me to post it within this post, but look above...

Be Safe or Be Smitten!

...oh yeah, I forgot

...Lionel Richie!


I loved this video, so dramatic.




Hello, doesn't that sound strikingly like this Billy Ocean song?




Let me know,


Be Safe or Be Smitten.

You think you're 80's?

Yeah, so I was talking with one of my friends who is suppose to know 80's stuff...but she doesn't remember this!!

Whatchu know about that Colonel Abrams?





In your nuts with a spiked bat, like BOW!


...and my All time FAVORITE singer...




BILLY OCEAN!!!

Caribbean Queen



and of course...

Get Out of My Dream, Get Into My Car





You sure didn't have to be pretty back then to have a hit!


Be Safe or Be Smitten!

Love in the Club

So I went to Jon Content's concert on Friday at the Funky Buddha Lounge in the City of Wind...his show was hot...but BOY, the guys before him weren't...

You know, I like shameless money rap; the catchier, the better. I mean, I won't buy it, but I'll sure listen to it and watch the video...here's a fine example of shameless money rap:

Baby D - 'Bout Money

Like I said, I'd never buy it, but it's way more believable that what I saw that night...the video has all the "traits" of money. Gucci stuff, random custom clothes, women kissing diamonds...and a frivolous 'I don't care about money because I'm so freakin' rich!' dance...all key traits, right?

Well, these guys...these guys bought the 2 for $3 white tee from Mr. Chang's Liquor and Beauty Supply store...Rouge Monkey Jeans...yeah, Rouge Monkey, not Red...and AF1's that come ready to Swerve and Lean like Hollywood Holt. It was very...interesting to watch their show. I thought they were a group, but it was just one guy with a bad hype man...I don't know the hype man's name...but he just kept saying, 'Yeamp!! Yeamp!!' Yeah, very hot show for them. I think they were sponsored by St. Ides and Preferred Stock.

Now, I'm not hating...it wasn't even the fact that they were so wack (btw, they were pretty wack though), but it's more of the fact that they weren't that believable...it's like telling you I burn corners in a Maserati, and I pick you up in a Crown Vic...that's not the same, and you aren't going to believe me...

So a note to all aspiring rappers...please rap what you know, not what you want.

Be Safe or Be Smitten!

Keeping America Beautiful...

I found one more...they just aren't like the one I remember...






Be Safe or Be Smitten!

Crying Indian...

I swear NO ONE remembers these commercials except for me...there are TWO, count'em, TWO versions...one from the 80's, and one from the 90's...
Enjoy!








Keep America Beautiful!

Be Safe or Be Smitten!

If you are a WN, stab yourself in the Eye...

Wack ni&&@$...I hate them. They make good guys look horrible. I mean, I use to have WN tendencies…but I cleared that up before I transitioned to who I am now. All of that stuff stems from past hurts and insecurities that he’s dealt with in his life. The problem comes in when he starts putting those problems on the head of his woman. I can’t stand a man that won’t live up to the qualities that make up a man. If you have some deep rooted issue, maybe you should be by yourself before you mess some woman up with the massive retardation that you are carrying around on your neck…

You know how many chicks have been jacked up by some loser? The BEST ones…the cutest, most driven, loyal, down for you chicks that you meet…they have ALL been screwed over by some loser.


You know what else I hate? When some guy makes his personal problems the fault of his woman. You know the type; he’ll call with some foolishness like this:


WN: Hey! Why aren’t you here to hold my hand and make sure I do what I’m suppose to do as a man?

Woman: I’d be there, but my dad is in the hospital with leprosy.

WN: I DON’T CARE!!! That’s SO selfish, help me? I need you to help me get a job because I’m a loser. I need you to clean my place, because I’m lazy. I need you to take care of me, because I really want a mother and not a woman.


Now I know that may be hard for you to read, especially if you have had that happen to you before…but that type of stuff bugs me, because if I legitimately need my woman, she’ll think I’m being a WN too. Doesn’t that suck? I know it does, first hand…but I don’t think that will be happening too much anymore…somehow.


So what do I suggest? I think all of the WN should take lamas classes at the bottom of Lake Erie…for real. Well, maybe not, because if they did that, I wouldn’t seem as dope as I am, right?



Be Safe or Be Smitten!

Little to say about Much

Hopefully, I don’t have anything I need to purge today…I don’t feel it, but like with any good, fulfilling spew, you NEVER see it coming, it just happens naturally.


So, what’s on the horizon for me? Preparing for Jon Content’s concert this Friday at the Funky Buddha…that should be exciting. I don’t quite know what I’m going to wear…I guess I’ll figure something out by tomorrow…it should be interesting though. Hopefully everyone that we know will show up…Kwayland, Keli, Robyn, and Christina are suppose to be there, but we aren’t too sure about them. Negros can be shifty when it comes to showing up to things…and if they aren’t shifty, they are crazy late. I’m sure I’ll have fun, I just don’t know what type of fun yet…but as always, I’ll be sure to write about it. I may even post pictures of it too!

Maybe I’ll have a more interesting rant later…only time will tell.

No Fun Pictures today...

Honestly, I don’t know what to write about today…it’s been an interesting week already. People are falling out of trees with heavy information lately…I don’t know how to take it all the time; it makes me feel…burdened. I have no problem being a willing ear, but these aren’t problems that they have with me, but the problem that they are not with me…now don’t get me wrong, I’m no pimp/player/womanizer/miser…but it’s just funny. I don’t want to sound like Mike Jones…so I won’t. But, with everything in life, timing is everything. People don’t always work from the same clock…and it shows. It brings disharmony to life, love, and lucidness. Honestly, I don’t know if I can deal with it anymore. One is going to have to go, and it must be the one that causes me the most discomfort…I don’t want to be an ass, but I know that’s how I’m going to seem. If they are reading this please note:


I AM EXTREMELY SORRY THAT THINGS DID NOT WORK OUT FOR US. I’M GLAD YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU FELT FOR ME, BUT IT IS REALLY TOO LATE. I CAN’T GO BACK TO YOU. I CAN’T. IT ISN’T THE BEST SITUATION FOR ME. PLEASE TRY TO UNDERSTAND.

I mean, did I have something for her, yes I did. Did I mean what I said, yes. But I can’t set myself up again to be disappointed. That’s why I need to move on. It hurts, but mainly because I can’t tell her without being an ass. I grew by leaps and bounds in that relationship…I became more patient, understanding, kind, caring, loving, receptive…but I also endured some of the most painful emotions in my life. I can’t have that; I can’t live in a relationship that gives me that. That isn’t healthy, and it won’t stimulate growth for me. She was and is a good person; I just hope she is able to take what I’m saying the right way. I gave her my heart, and she stabbed it with a plastic butter knife until it went through me…I’ve been stitched up, and I’m healing…but I can’t allow her to do it again…this would be the fifth time. It can’t happen again, and it won’t…it won’t. I can’t do that because I have respect for myself, and I love myself, so I need to do what is best; for myself.

What did she do that hurt me so bad? Lots. I could fill pages of things…and it really isn’t the point, because I allowed myself to go through it. Was that smart? No. But the thing is, I didn’t know if I could get anything better. I didn’t know if I deserved anything better…I mean, she wasn’t Lucifer, but the things she did…if I told you…you would hate her for it.

The thing is, I’ve always been rejected…especially when it was someone I really liked or cared for. So what did I start doing? I would reject them before they had a chance to reject me…I became an asshole, then I got fat…after that, I became nicer…developed a better personality, and I became a better person…but I was still getting rejected. I didn’t know what to do. It really hurts, you know? It hurts when someone tells you theoretically, “You are the most intellectual person I’ve ever met, you make me feel like I can do anything, you make me feel beautiful, you…but I can’t have you as my man…but I’m going to continue to treat you like you are until someone else I think is better shows up, then I’m off with him.” It makes you feel like shit. So when this chick came along…she made me feel like I was worth a damn…then she did the same thing. Three times…with the same person. So it was like I was back in the same circle of problems that I had before. Now I know people always tell you that it takes oh so long to get over a person…but my feelings had nothing to do with her, but with me. The rejection issue has been with me for as long as I can remember. The difference is, now I realize a few things.


People will always disappoint you.
Never trust what you hear until it can be displayed by what you see, then allow it to be defined by what you feel.
At the end of the day, all you have is God and yourself.

That sounds cold, but it’s the truth. Now I’m not saying never trust anyone, if you listen to your inner voice, it won’t steer you wrong, but generally speaking, everything in that list is true, and the sooner you realize that, the sooner you won’t be as hurt or taken advantage of. The sooner you won’t be disappointed. The quicker you can heal…


I can love, I will love, and I am love. That has never left, and it never will. I feel I’m a better person than I was; and for that I thank that person I was with…Everything happens for a reason I guess, and I think I’m finally starting to understand that reason. I hope she does too.

Be Safe or Be Smitten...

Creamsicle

I really don’t have anything to say right now except for I LOVE this song right now…it’s so nasty, but more like a chill nasty. It’s on the unreleased Out of My Mind CD by Pharrell & the Yessirs…don’t be a hater, you know you wish you had this CD. Listen to it and enjoy…the link is in the title.

So taste and see...

Be Safe or Be Smitten!

Don't take it Personal...

Life is funny. Things happen to me and around me that never cease to amuse. Is this something cold and mean? No. Is this directed toward anyone in particular? No. Why am I saying this? Because I feel I have to. The sentence preceding this one itself could spark four angry e-mails/calls saying that I shouldn’t write about them on my blog. So what am I saying?


People take things too hard sometimes. The whole point of my blog is to paint a picture; and see if I’m the only one that thinks it looks like a shark instead of a canary. I mean, unless I’ve been directly disrespected, I don’t go out on an attack ever. That’s why it’s funny to me when people tell me that I’m being mean. Me being mean isn’t mean; I’m just saying what you already thought, and you are mad because you thought that was only something in your head; and not something that you overlooked. In my adult life; I haven’t gone out on a personal assault on anyone’s decisions. That isn’t my job; but I will always tell the truth about the way it is, then how I feel about it. That is the nature of my blog; including what I say about myself. So I do completely apologize to anyone that I know personally that reads my blog; if I mention you in it, it usually isn’t bad. If anything, I’ll just say I don’t agree with something or someone…and that’s really all I can do. I can’t make anyone do what I feel they should…it doesn’t work that way; and I wouldn’t want to have it work that way either. It’s too hard living my own life; so I really don’t want to live anyone else’s.


Am I Wrong?

Be Safe or Be Smitten!