101 Things about Me

Yeah, so I stole this from Monie who stole this from Diva, but whatever...I'm not sure what else to write about today; I might post something else later...but here it goes...


1. I hate dressing business professional at work.
2. I know it's an office, but I'm in a cube all day; no meetings.
3. There are 12 black people in this entire building.
4. Have you ever been somewhere that has such a lack for black people that when you see one you get excited?
5. Yeah, that is exactly like it is here.
6. I love women.
7. Especially women in heels.
8. I love women's calves.
9. But only when they wear heels.
10. I hate ballerina flats.
11. I hate Mary Janes.
12. Love a chick in dope sneakers.
13. Basically any chick not in a sneaker or heels I'm not feeling.
14. Except for thong sandals with a nice pedi.
15. I'm a sucker for pretty feet.
16. I just found out I like boobs two months ago.
17. Just in general, not a size preference...
18. I'm an appreciater of all women.
19. As long as they are cute.
20. Or exotic.
21. Or exotically cute.
22. Or if they have a good look.
23. Don't like women with beards.
24. Or penises; I'm all stocked up with those.
25. Fresh out of Vag though...don't have that.
26. I'm a perv...no?
27. Nah, just an EOE.
28. That's Equal Opprotunity Employer for the jobless nation.
29. I don't like people.
30. Especially stupid people.
31. I respect individuals.
32. I like creative individuals.
33. I love honest people.
34. They give me less things to worry about.
35. I hate rims.
36. Like, "Throw some D's on it!" rims.
37. I rather have a $50,000 car, than a $20,000 car with $30,000 worth of custom work.
38. But they do look cool.
39. But the police don't look cool.
40. Unless you have an undercover cop car.
41. I love undercover cop cars.
42. That's why I bought one.
43. People get scared of undercover cops.
44. Especially since Training Day.
45. People get scared of me when I drive my undercover cop car.
46. But only at night.
47. In the day time, I look like a taxi.
48. A beat taxi.
49. With a dent in the rear fender.
50. On both sides.
51. I want a new car.
52. A newer car.
53. No car note though.
54. Car notes are demonic.
55. I'm I the only one that would be a drug dealer?
56. If you knew you wouldn't go to hell for it?
57. The return rate on your investment is crazy.
58. But so are the customers.
59. Better off with a McDonalds.
60. You can kill more people with McDonalds.
61. And you can kill them a lot slower.
62. And it's legal.
63. Murder is bad.
64. Dying because you are stupid isn't.
65. If you die because you chased a bear, you were looking for death.
66. That's like napping in the ocean.
67. Or flossing a tiger.
68. Or swimming with Alligators and wondering why they bit off your arm.
69. Did anyone else hear about that?
70. Does that mean he can only swim in circles now?
71. If you are deaf, and have sex, do you moan in sign language?
72. Why do people in wheel chairs have dirty sneakers?
73. Shouldn't they be able to rock one pair for the rest of their life?
74. I mean, they don't walk...it's a fair question.
75. Does Stephen Hawking type in a scream when he is scared?
76. Does he talk dirty?
77. What if he talked through a vocorder like T-Pain, would he sound normal?
78. Does using a vocorder make you wear top hats?
79. Who told T-Pain that top hats are cool?
80. The only person I know that wore a top hat was the Monopoloy man.
81. And Mr. Peanut.
82. But the top hat is in their contract agreements.
83. Otherwise they'd wear sunvisors.
84. Remember when people would rock visors EXTRA hard?
85. I had like, 6 of them.
86. Remember when the only people who wore visors delt cards at casinos?
87. Why is Quincy Jones' girlfriend younger than me?
88. Why does Quincy Jones have a girlfriend?
89. Can't stop 'till you get enough?
90. Doesn't that Jay-Z and RKelly "Not Guilty" song have a whole new meaning now?
91. "You can't touch me, you can't touch me. Jigga, Kelly, Not Guilty!"
92. I don't like RKelly.
93. Well, not anymore.
94. Not since he went half on a baby.
95. But thinking back, does that mean he went dutch on buying a child sex slave?
96. I'm not sure, I guess the world may never know.
97. Unless he gets caught again.
98. I'm getting a paper route.
99. Extra money is dope.
100. 4 am is not.
101. I need a new hobby.