You know what???

Sooooo…I’ve come to the conclusion that only dumb people call the manufacture for issues. I mean, well, lets say 70% of my calls are from dumb people. I honestly can’t understand why this is such a hard concept for my callers…today the people that called in all seemed like they had an attitude, they all seemed like they didn’t know English…they all seemed like they sold their brain on E-bay with a Buy-it-Now price of $5.99 shipped.


I mean, if you call me, tell me the problem, it’s my job to send you replacement product. How hard is that to understand? These people today though…omg, they have asked the most ridiculous questions. For instance, if you weren’t satisfied with the performance of your muffler, would you ask what the assembler had for lunch? Or better yet, what type of hair gel they use? That’s an incredibly stupid and inane question right? Wrong. I think dumb people across the world call the number on everything they ever get in the mail…everything. They call Lays and complain about chips, they call Hanes and complain about underwear, they call God and complain about clouds…they complain about everything. If you have a valid issue, I’m your advocate all the way…but when you call in and complain to my tire company when you have sinus pressure…you need to get kicked in the mouth by Shaq

and be forced to lick the grease off Jermaine Jackson’s face…

I think I hate people…


No, not people, not ALL people…just people that call the customer service lines…those are the ones.

Be Safe or Be Smitten!

Just Wondering...

Even if you never comment on my page, just let me know if you like the new look. I just kinda want to know...right now it feels like I'm posting on the inside of an X-Box...

Listen with your Eyes, Follow with your Ears

So I’m not sure what I’m here to write today…I mean, I don’t have any rants or anything super important to shout out to the world…but I kinda post everyday now, so I need to say something.


How come people always expect things out of you when they don’t do anything to deserve it? I mean, you get these “friends” that don’t really hold up their end of the relationship, yet they expect favors and for you to lend an ear all the time. It’s really amazing the nerve of those people. I’m always feeling like they are never there for me, so why in the f*#k should I care about what is going on in their lives? When I had no job and no money, where were they? Not calling me, not stopping by…when I was depressed because no one wanted to hire me, where were they? Did they make sure I slept on the couch instead of the hood of my car? Nope, they sure didn’t. So I guess that’s why I don’t claim to have all these friends of sorts. I really only have a few. Like I could fit most of them in a decent size SUV…I can honestly say I only have like two super dope friends…and three norm friends…and then the rest of the peeps are like in my cool club. Like, I can call them to kick it, or hang out…but that’s about it. Nothing life changing. Nothing mind blowing…and I generally don’t share anything with them important. I just don’t really get people sometimes…it’s just funny to me.


Maybe I’ll think of something else later for now, but in the words of Andre’ 3000 “…and that’s as far as I got.”




Be Safe or Be Smitten!

Had to post this...

This is why I blog:

"When you use words, you're able to keep your mind alive. Writing is my way of reaffirming my own existence." - Gao Xingjian

Fat as I wanna be...

So I think I have come to the conclusion that I’m fat.


Well, I’m stupid fat to me. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m not like, Orca fat…

or like Dom DeLuise fat…





but like, “I can’t shop at H&M or Express because I’m too fat.” That fat. Now, I’m I expecting some miracle to be worked here? No. Am I expecting to be a Hawaiian Tropic Banana Hammock model? No. I just want to be the strong fat guy…like a small Suge Knight pre-asswhoopin’…like Death Row I’ll hang you over the balcony Suge. But not as large; just like a “I don’t have a six pack, but I have a firm cutting board…but I’m big.” So I broke out the Ab Lounge…I’m about to get crackin’!


I’m going to use the words of Big here: “I’m dedicated to fitness.”





So no more fried foods…kinda. Like, no more fried chicken, burgers…fries…stuff like that. I’ll still do the breakfast sausage at mom’s house though…can’t pass that up. We’ll see what happens…I’m not setting some sort of poundage goal, but I do just want to feel better…that’s really what’s important. We’ll see what happens though.


Be Safe or Be Smitten.

We're Stuck in this Plastic Life

Is it wrong to not be excited about news? I mean, I had a friend call me yesterday and her news was interesting, but it didn’t feel that exciting. It was more like, “Why do I feel more concerned about your life than you do?” It was weird. It was an opportunity that sounds like it could be good…but it was completely illogical to me. If you are an auto mechanic, do you think you’d get the opportunity to develop new flavors of Jell-O?



I’m thinking no.


So why in the world if someone makes you an offer to do something that you have NO idea how to do would you feel so positive about it? It would just make me feel kinda funky; or at least weary. Even if they sent you doc showing you that it is legit…wouldn’t you consider that I could send you a “degree” right now from Ballsack University that looks real?





Or a contract that has been notarized already?





I don’t get it. I thought that whole; “If it seems to be too good to be true, it is” phrase was still in style…I guess it isn’t. Don’t get me wrong, if it is on the up and up, and it makes her happy, I’m all for it…but right now, there are too many holes in her cheese to make it stand alone.

I'm all for escaping and leaving your normal surroundings in order to initiate growth...but come on?



Be Safe or Be Smitten.


…that isn’t just a tagline.

I Glow in the Dark

To say the very least…


THE CONCERT WAS AMAZING!!!

I mean, it did have it’s faults, but overall, it was well worth it.


I wasn’t able to take pictures of the concert, so you’ll have to be subject to whatever I can find online.



Lupe’s set was…ok. I mean, I really love Lupe Fiasco from mixtapes to albums…but his performance wasn’t what I thought it would be. He didn’t have a band, only a DJ…and he didn’t really get to use that much of the stage. For what he was able to work with it was hot; and honestly, if he had Rihanna follow his performance, I would’ve liked his more that I do…but I’ll get to Rihanna a little later. He also had no type of stage props for the show…but I guess that’s because he didn’t get that big of a section of the stage.


N.E.R.D.’s set was ridiculous…in a good way. It was dope. They did Everybody Nose and Spaz from the new album…they did Brain and Lapdance from In Search Of… and a couple from Fly or Die… They had a decent size screen behind them showing random colors and designs during the show, and they had a full band with two drummers. During part of Everybody Nose they threw towels out into the audience…listen to the song so you can know what I’m talking about. Chris Brown came out and danced during Spaz…I wonder why he was there? Hmmm…



Rihanna…well, she’s Rihanna. She was pretty. Her voice sounded good…but it was boring. There was no band…just a guitar player and a bass player that you never really heard. She didn’t wear anything as nice as what I showed…it was like a glorified pajama set. It was ok, but I kinda wish I went to find a souvenir during her portion of the show.



Kanye, Kanye, Kanye…what can I say about his performance? It was great. Theatrical, entertaining, captivating…there was never a boring spot. There was fire, smoke, moving parts, a screen the width of the stage, with another the size of a movie screen in front of that…it was an awesome show! Very interactive. I mean, if you enjoy hip-hop, or even if you enjoy concerts…his is one that you must see. I mean, even if it has been to your city already, you need to take a trip to his next show…the panned shot is one I found of the concert on the internet…

So overall, it was definitely something that I’m glad I had the opportunity to experience.

Other than that…I’m ok. I had a chill weekend. I went to Kwayland’s for a barbeque, and that was cool. Did laundry on Monday…it was needed.


I am starting to heal from past hurts…it’s tough though. I always blame myself for things that don’t work out, but right now I’m not. I’m starting to figure out that everything isn’t my fault. That makes me feel so much better about things…I can’t say that the new chick isn’t accelerating that process though…she is really in my corner…I could see something from this. Something big.

You're F***ing with my Hip-Hop, have you any Shame?

I’d like to start off by saying good morning to OPEC. Thank you for raping the Midwest at a minimum of $4.04 a gallon for regular gasoline. I really appreciate it. It makes me choose my social functions more wisely.


The real reason for my post is this:


Tell me why my ex texted me the other day on some, “If you need to contact me…” I was thinking to myself, I know your number, I know your e-mail. If I want to contact you I will…and have I tried to contact you at all this week? I don’t think I did. I think this fact eluded her. I mean, I enjoyed my time with her; but it wasn’t very fulfilling…


similar to Kool-Aid and Doritos…tasty, but a very horrible meal.


I mean, what is it with people that think they can sit you on a shelf and have you wait for them like I’m a non-perishable canned good? I’m not on layaway, and I am priced to move…catch-up so I can tap on you like Heinz,


or tap on you like Hines.





…and in shoe news:


I think I’ve found an acquisition to top off my shoe collection:





Don’t ask me where, just enjoy my shine.



Until next time,

Be Safe or Be Smitten.

You'll Need half of your Bubble bath to match my Freshness...

I’m not really sure how I feel today. I know I’m bored, and because I’m bored I’m sleepy…slowest…day…ever. Nothing to do. I’ve had 16 calls all day. Just finished lunch, 4.5 hours to go.


Have you ever met someone that feels like they could bring the best out of you? But you were afraid you were going to mess it up? Just wondering.

How come people don’t make quality albums anymore? I mean, what would be a 15 year old’s top ten albums?

Hurricane Chris
DJ UNK
Lil’ Boosie
Soulja Boy
Shawty Lo
V.I.C.
Flo Rida
Lil’ Wayne
DJ Khaled
Rocko

I mean, that was in no particular order…and as funny as it may seem, this probably isn’t too far off from what these young cats listen to. I mean, at the risk of sounding like I’m 67 and saying I went to all of the Isley Brothers concerts…that isn’t quality. I mean, some of them are catchy. I love “Dey Know” in the club…but I mean, dude can’t even come up with more than one rhyme scheme. And as much as I love my money in a “Brown Paper Bag”, DJ Khaled isn’t even an artist…he just puts the people together. The only noteworthy person on the list is Wayne, and he’s a punch line MC that wants to be a lounge singer. I mean, if I had to come up with a list of just rap/hip hop that isn’t the traditional list that you ALWAYS see, (i.e. Ready to Die from Biggie, Illmatic from Nas…), it would be as follows…in no particular order:

The Love Below – Andre’ 3000
Hell Hath No Fury – The Clipse
Black on Both Sides – Mos Def
Reflection Eternal – Talib Kweli and Hi-Tek
Food & Liquor – Lupe Fiasco
Late Registration – Kanye West
Fly or Die – N.E.R.D.
American Gangster – Jay-Z (…yes, I like this better than Reasonable Doubt and Blueprint Vol. 1)
Midnight Marauders – A Tribe Called Quest
Songs about Girls – Will.I.Am.

Now, I know what you are thinking…that’s why I said non-traditional. How hard is it to say that I like Reasonable Doubt and Blueprint from Jay-Z? How hard is it to say Ready to Die and Life after Death were great albums from BIG? Not to forget that All Eyez on Me from Tupac made me want to be a thug…even though I’m not.

I think if kids would read more books, they would know that it isn’t that hard to rhyme hater with hater…or that a song called Booty Meat may not be the best thing to play around your 2 year old…


I’m just saying.


Be Safe or Be Smitten!

Holdin' up the Bars like Bathtub edges...

Work is work; I forgot that while I was unemployed...but it is coming along. I'm so starting to feel confident about my job...I feel like I know what I'm talking about when the people call in. I've found that the best thing to do, even if you have no idea what you are talking about, sound like you do. If you sound like you know what you are talking about, people tend not to question what you say to them...



GLOW IN THE DARK TOUR THIS WEEKEND!!!



Super excited.


...and


BTW,

I'm so in like with someone; it's stupid dope. We talk ALL the time, and it's never boring. You know how you talk to people sometimes and you feel like, "What in the hades can I say to this person to make them get off my phone?" I never get that with her...not yet anyway. But the way things are going, it doesn't feel like I will either.


Be Safe or Be Smitten!

St. Andrew

Yeah, so I really don't know who St. Andrew is, or what he did...but I did learn how to tie my necktie like he did...

I printed out this tutorial of sorts yesterday, and taught myself in a couple minutes...it was more complicated than it sounds; trust me.


That's really it. Today after my lunch, I'm gonna be taking calls, so that'll be interesting. I'm wondering how that one will go...hopefully it'll go well.

We'll see...



BTW...

Did anyone notice that a super normal chick won Top Model yesterday? I mean, I'm all for rooting for the prettiest one; I do that anyway because I'm a guy. But, I mean, she doesn't look like a Top Model; which is kinda the point of the show. I read a few days ago that NONE of the winners have been real top models in the industry. Eva is doing modeling for lace front wigs...and Especially Yours Magazine...Google it if you don't believe me.

I'm just saying; if you want to have a show called, "The girl that should win because she's pretty and she's nice" then you can let her win. It's called America's Next Top Model...and after all these years we are still waiting for one.


Shout out to YaYa!


Be Safe or Be Smitten!

Neckless less like a necklace theft...

Well, I am back on the saddle again...feels good. The job has WAY less stress, and I feel like in a few weeks, I should be fully trained enough to handle any situation. There is a MUCH smaller team now too, (3 including me), so it's easier to keep track of things. I really think I'm gonna like this place...the only problem?



Neckties.


I have 2, (one stolen, one extended borrow), so I have to obtain more...by hook or by crook...more than likely by hook; even though I don't understand what that means.



Until later,


Be Safe or Be Smitten!

Ebb and Flow...

Just had two interviews; one phone, and one face-to-face. They both went well...the phone interview wants me to come in tomorrow...I really need one of these to pan out...the tide needs to bring in some dollars.

Cast Away

I'm sure many of you have seen this movie, and it was just on TBS twice this weekend...so I watched it...both times. After watching the movie, this quote stuck with me:

"I was gonna die there, totally alone. I was gonna get sick, or get injured or something. The only choice I had, the only thing I could control was when, and how, and where it was going to happen. So... I made a rope and I went up to the summit, to hang myself. I had to test it, you know? Of course. You know me. And the weight of the log, snapped the limb of the tree, so I-I - , I couldn't even kill myself the way I wanted to. I had power over *nothing*. And that's when this feeling came over me like a warm blanket. I knew, somehow, that I had to stay alive. Somehow. I had to keep breathing. Even though there was no reason to hope. And all my logic said that I would never see this place again. So that's what I did. I stayed alive. I kept breathing. And one day my logic was proven all wrong because the tide came in, and gave me a sail. And now, here I am. I'm back. In Memphis, talking to you. I have ice in my glass... And I've lost her all over again. I'm so sad that I don't have Kelly. But I'm so grateful that she was with me on that island. And I know what I have to do now. I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?"

...and that's kinda how I feel right now. Not that I'd kill myself, but I feel like I don't have control over anything anymore; and as a man, that makes you feel pointless. After hearing this quote, I felt some better...I mean, I just have to be patient and wait because I CAN'T control my every aspect of my life...and the sooner I come to grips with this, the easier I'll be in the long run.


BTW, I have another interview today...maybe I'll culturally fit there.


Be Safe or Be Smitten.

Goyard go Hard, I'm Hugo's Boss...

Yeah,


So I feel alright today...apparently I called a bunch of people when I was drunk Thursday night. I fell asleep on my car, on the stairs...played a drunk hypeman...locked my keys in the car...very eventful.

Today should be WAY more chill. Going to a graduation party; the jury's still out on how I feel about that. I mean, I don't know who's going to be there, and I have an idea in my head that I'm not going to like some of the guests. I mean, I'm not going to start any beef to patties...but if someone gets outta pocket, I'm gonna toss them like lint...or give them up like lent.

Let me stop:

Other than that, nothing much is going on in my life; lots of phone convos lately with someone, but other than that...not much.

Oh, and I'm sure that I was an ass in front of Jon's cousin, Shout out to Tamika...sorry about the hair thing.


As always,


Be Safe of Be Smitten!

I'm I alive??

So I went to this party right...and I'm all upset about what happened to me that day, so I decide to drink...I think I had 19 drinks that night. Mostly straight vodka...and that's all I remember. I remember being in a haze, I remember my friends taking my keys, I remember saying things I didn't want to say outloud...I finally had one of those drunk experiences that they talk about on tv...extra weird. I just wish I could go home...but I don't know where my keys are...

Culture...

So, I had a great interview today, for a company that seems like it was going to be a great fit...nice corporate environment...


Only one thing though:

I don't fit into their culture. WTF does that shyt mean? I don't fit into their culture? I knew more about benefits than the person interviewing me...I mean, if I understand more about the job than the person interviewing, how does that make me a "bad fit"? I mean, I didn't see any other Negros there, so maybe that was the problem. I really feel amazingly angry to the point of wanting to commit crime. That seems to be the only "culture" that my people fit into. Or I can be a rapper...drug lord...play football. I mean, that's the corporate culture that blacks fit into, right?


Am I overreacting? Possibly; but right now I don't care. I'm sure someone will hire me; but right now...I am extremely upset.



Be Safe or Be Smitten.

Complicated...

I wish I could change,
I wish I could change;
I wish I could stop saying the same old things.
I wish I could be,
Who you want me to be,
I wish I could stop being the same old me.
I wish I could lose all of my blues;
I wish I could stop putting my blues on you.
I wish I could love like nobody loves;
I wish that my goods outweighed my bads enough.

There's no way There's no way There's no way...
I can get back that girl,
Cause I'm too complicated;
And shes not complicated,
But I'm too complicated.

...so if you have Robin Thicke's cd, you should remember hearing this song...and as SOON as I heard it, I completely identified with it. I mean, I have so many thoughts and emotions that I process on the daily; and most women that I get involved with want to know about them...and I don't want to tell...but when I finally do share, they make me regret it. Don't get me wrong, I'm no Ax murderer...and I'm not crazy...but I do have things that I wonder about, worry about, plan ahead to...things I want...and that isn't the half.


Sometimes I feel like I don't know what I'm suppose to do. Like I don't know how I'm suppose to be when I am interested in a woman. When I want her the wrong way, I know everything to say, but when I want her the right way...I get nervous, I worry, I get scared. It's weird. I try to ignore it, but then you can tell on my face that something is wrong. I mean, this chick I like asked me the other day if I could deal with someone being at my house with me everyday...I said no thinking about the last person I was involved with...but really thinking about it, I don't know. I know I would like to have someone that I could trust enough for that...someone that wouldn't annoy the hell out of me...but I really don't know what it would be like to have that again. The last time I had a situation like that was so long ago, I really don't know what I'd want to have in a long-term deal now...

My last relationship had a lot of boundaries...and I understood that if I wanted to entertain a relationship with this person, I had to abide by the boundaries...so it was kinda like I customized what I wanted based on what she wanted...it wasn't fair. I mean, some of the stuff was cool...but I really didn't have a choice. I mean, she came by every Friday...that was cool. But sometimes I missed her on Tuesday, or on Sunday...and she would never come over. It kinda hurt, because I knew she did it for the last guy...she would be there everyday if he wanted her to...so it made me feel like she cared more about him than me...it sucked.

Saying that, I really don't know...don't know what I'd do or feel...I really don't know if I can find someone that I'm gonna really want anymore...I felt so rejected from her. I, I didn't know it would bother me so much; I didn't know that typing this would make it hurt...

I'm sure I'll be fine, but in the midst of the storm, you can't always see the way to dry land.

Be Safe or be Smitten.

I'm trying to be fly and they clippin' my wings...

...and that's exactly why the caged bird sings.

Yeah, the even though I'm going to get Hip Hop Hatred, The Clipse have to be my favorite group...they are the only rappers that I know that make cocaine seem like so much fun...to sell.

Not that I'd ever do that, but I'm just saying: "I got it for Cheap!"

So I'm in a serious kick drought. When I was employed, I averaged 1.7 shoes every two weeks...I did the math. Then, sometimes I would splurge and buy like 12 pair in two days. I really need a job. I have two promising places in the wings, but I'm playing the waiting game again...if this falls through though, it makes having Peruvian snow on my counter seem so much more promising.

I said that to say this: I'm gonna post some shoes...individually photographed...just to remind myself of what I had just in case I have to sell some of them...

Be Safe or Be Smitten.

Flavor of the Week

I was thinking about my viewpoint of women earlier....based on a blog I read by jirzygurl...why do black guys get so drawn to white women?





I'm not sure; for the last one that I dated, it was the allure of doing my boss...the shift in power, you know? And as stupid as it sounds, it feels like you are fighting oppression every time you are intimate with one...like your name is Malcolm XXX or something...





I mean, from dating the rainbow, chicks of all colors have bullshyte that you are going to have to deal with; and even though I have learned to process the different genres of problems, I'd prefer to deal with black chicks. Honestly, I can relate to their problems, and as silly as that sounds, it is a whole lot easier to be there for someone with problems you can respect.





Just don't get me wrong, my statements are in no way blanket statements...just based on my experiences. White chicks have real problems just like black chicks can have stupid problems...I'm just talking about preferences; and those can change. But right now...I'm all about being open, so whatever flavor I have a hunger for, I need to be able to cope with the aftertaste.





Be Safe or Be Smitten!